Parents Behaving Badly

33 opinions for Parents Stage Car Accident to Cover Up Child Abuse Death of Four-Year-Old

• sfdude_2008
  Dec 22, 2007 at 1:56 pm

  Another “f*ck you” looks on those idiots’ faces in their mugshot! Those careless asshats don’t deserve to procreate anymore! They should’ve been sterilized!

• April RJ
  Dec 22, 2007 at 2:49 pm

  OMG! These women are just to stupid! The lives of their children take a backseat to penis. Stupid bitch!

• rockdoll_71
  Dec 22, 2007 at 3:20 pm

  Here we go again…another dumb bitch who allowed her son to be murdered by her boyfriend. What the hell is it with these stupid women who think they just can’t live without a man- any man!?? There isn’t a man alive who I would put before my son, EVER.

• 13watchdog
  Dec 22, 2007 at 7:15 pm

  I am a single parent and never put a man before my son. That is maybe why I have never have been married? I just do not put up with any BS. I even told a boyfriend before that he could not even try to explain life to my son. Men still believe if the poke it they own it or I bought dinner I get dessert.Women it is like this you are the one who says what is going to happen and you are the one that controls your life. Stop letting men walk all over you for your childrens sake. We have to stop this cycle of abuse and children model after what they know.

• rockdoll_71
  Dec 22, 2007 at 8:18 pm

  Very well said, 13watchdog. I do love my son’s dad but nothing compared to the way I love my son. I never knew that I could love anything or anyone like that until I had him. Now, I suppose you could say that I know what ‘true love’ is because when it’s all said and done, he is all that matters to me. He is everything- my reason for living. I never could understand a woman who would put a man first and I’m sure I never will. I find that kind of mentality offensive.

• Kitty
  Dec 22, 2007 at 10:53 pm

  I’m going to venture a different opinion here. I could be wrong. In fact, I probably am full of it because I do not have the awesome responsibility of being a parent. My opinion is based on speaking to those who do, and it reflects their opinions.

  I believe that a parent should love their spouse more than they love their child. To do otherwise puts an unfair burden on the child, and they are afraid to become independent, and thus leave “mommy” with no one. I know several grown children who are afraid to date or even move out of their parent’s house for that reason.

  But there is a huge difference between loving your spouse more, and not loving your child at all. As much as I love my husband, if he ever did anything like this to a child, I’d go to prison because I’d have killed him before we called the police. Heck, if he touched my PETS, he knows I would get rid of him, and press charges.

  This has nothing to do with loving a child more than your husband. This has everything to do with whether or not your man loves YOU. A man who can’t empathize with small helpless creatures is probably never going to be understanding of your weakness. A man who can hurt something that is precious to you doesn’t love you enough.

  Having a child is a sacred responsibility. A man should respect and encourage you to take it seriously, or he does not value you at all.

  But these women are so afraid of being alone, that they are willing to settle for the illusion of love.

  The good news is that there ARE good men out there. My sister’s husband used to read to her distended stomach each night before my nephew was born, and now he spends his every waking moment playing with that baby. My husband will sit for hours and let the cat lick his hair, even though it is painful, because she is enjoying herself and he doesn’t have the heart to stop her. My grandfather married my grandmother even though she had a baby out of wedlock, because he loved children and wanted a daughter to love and spoil. They are still married, and I was seventeen before I learned that my aunt wasn’t Grandpa’s biological child, and only then because they were taking medical histories. He never treated her an iota different from the other children, and she’s said that he’s why she turned out so well.

  Men like this don’t think they own anything or anyone. They think of children as a sacred responsibility. They think of them as fascinating creatures who they are privileged to watch learn and grow.

  While this is tragic, and the woman in question is a horrible creature, I don’t think it reflects on men in general. I do not group this monster in with Men. I’m rather fond of men.

• Don
  Dec 23, 2007 at 1:19 am

  Kitty,

  In response to this:

  “I believe that a parent should love their spouse more than they love their child. To do otherwise puts an unfair burden on the child, and they are afraid to become independent, and thus leave “mommy” with no one. I know several grown children who are afraid to date or even move out of their parent’s house for that reason.”

  I have a couple of things to say. Top of the list is… impossible. You can’t love your spouse more than your kids, or even as much. Trust me, when you have your own kid(s), you’ll understand.

  Secondly, love is never a burden. Not real love. If you want your kids to learn independence, you can teach them, or rather help them learn it, which also means that you have to be willing to be (pretend to be) a little hard-hearted until they’ve learned it. Giving them whatever they want doesn’t do them any favors.

• onthegowith5xy
  Dec 23, 2007 at 6:12 am

  Kitty,
  I agree with Don. There is no way in hell that I would in a million years put my husband first! I love my husband with all of my heart but I will always put my boys before him and I know he does the same. It is the responsibility of the parent to look after the child(ren) and love them and put them above all else. If we don’t love our children who will? If I so much as even suspected my husband would cause harm to my any of my children I would leave him in a second! Trust me, when you have kids you will understand this. When you have a child, nothing else seems to matter but this precious little life that you have. I do agree that Children need to learn independence but as Don said, that can be taught. We can show our children independence and unconditional love at the same time.

• Ihavekidstoo
  Dec 23, 2007 at 7:27 am

  Kitty, I have to agree with Don and onthegowith5xy. It’s virtually impossible to love anyone else more than you love your child. However, you are right that it’s important for there to be love and commitment between spouses who are raising a child together, even more so than between spouses who don’t have kids. Children who grow up in families where the parents DON’T express their love for each other grow up to be less secure and less comfortable with the whole concept of marriage than kids who KNOW their parents love each other.

  I won’t patronize you by saying you can’t understand “true love” until you have kids, because I know many people who don’t have kids who are just wonderful, loving people. I will say, though, that having a child totally changes how you think about “love.” I love my husband with all my heart and I know he loves me as much. But neither of us would even think of putting the other’s needs or desires before our son’s. And that unity of purpose - that everything is about our son - has made us closer than ever.

• rockdoll_71
  Dec 23, 2007 at 7:58 pm

  I just want to say that I totally agree with Don and onthegowith5xy. There is absolutely no comparison when it comes to the love you have for a man and the love that you have for your baby.

• Lilbay
  Dec 23, 2007 at 9:12 pm

  I honestly wonder if the fact so many of these type cases exist does not have to do with the number of 20 something’s and teen Moms who have not finished growing up and who feel they MUST have a man in their life to be complete them.

  We see so many youngsters out here starving for attention at 13 to 18. They than move out on their own get pregnant by some guy who they THINK will be there for ever because of their own lack of self esteem and self image and their deep need for love and acceptance. They latch on to whomever make bad choices end up with kids by whomever and IF that guy sticks around it MAY work out but many times sadly their own issues leads to the relationship going south they than are out looking for another because they feel that is needed to be complete (though they pretend it is to give the child a father) and they end up latching on to any Nut job or pervert that comes along.

  Makes me wonder if maybe there needs to be a self image self esteem class taught in Jr high and high school and try to head this off at the pass.
  I know it is NOT the schools job It is the parents but obviously short of charging the parents of their teens behavior I see no way to get parents to change. Sad as that is.

• Kitty
  Dec 23, 2007 at 9:59 pm

  While I am sure that if I were to have children, I would have a different perspective, my sisters and my mother all tell me that they love their own husbands much more than their children.

  They adore their children, but they aren’t planning on spending their entire lives with them. They’d leave their husbands in the case of abuse, but that would be because it’s the right thing to do.

  They put their children first because their children are helpless, and they cannot take care of themselves. Not because they love their children more than their husbands. They would leave their husband if he ever raised a hand to their children because it’s the right thing to do.

  I also am thinking of several people I know whose mothers loved them more than their spouses, and they felt like they had to take their father’s places. It’s called emotional incest, and it has some scary consequences. I’ve been counseling someone whose marriage was almost ruined by this.

  Now, I am probably wrong. *smiles* You all have more experience than me in the “day to day” stuff. I only see the consequences when things go wrong. So maybe you can love your child more, and teach them independence, and be happy in your old age when they have left you behind and you are left with your husband.

  I know it seem presumptuous of me to have an opinion at this stage, but I figure it’s better to figure these things out now, and ask the experienced to educate me. *smiles*

  Also, a question, so I can understand your perspective: When a wife is in labor, and the doctor comes out and asks the husband to chose–the baby’s life or his wife’s life? What is the moral choice to make there?

  Ihavekidstoo;

  You are right. You should always put your child first. I just believe that loving one’s spouse more is not a handicap to putting one’s child first. But, once again, I could be wrong.

  I like arguing with you because your posts are always respectful and you never patronize me when you disagree with me. I hope that I have managed to match everyone’s tone in this. It’s important for me to figure this stuff out before I decide whether or not to adopt. I like hearing from those in the position to know.

• Don
  Dec 23, 2007 at 11:37 pm

  Kitty,

  You said:
  “Also, a question, so I can understand your perspective: When a wife is in labor, and the doctor comes out and asks the husband to chose–the baby’s life or his wife’s life? What is the moral choice to make there?”

  To begin with, the doctor wouldn’t “come out” to tell me that, I was in there both times.

  Secondly, if the doctor said that, I know that my response would be “save the baby”. and further, I know that’s the response my son’s mother would’ve expected of me.

  Let me tell you a story.

  When my 2nd son was born, he was quite the active fetus, and had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice and around his left arm once. When the obstetrician saw how purple his head was as he was crowning, he was quite rough with my girlfriend getting him out and snipping the cord right away. The nurse took him over to a corner of the room to revive him while the doctor began stitching up my son’s mother. We both had 100% of our attention focused on the baby. The nurse said to the doctor “he’s grimacing and responsive, but he’s not breathing and I get no pulse.”

  Doctor said “Call the team” and (I’m not joking) 15 seconds later the door crashed open and a bunch of doctors and nurses from the NICU came bustling in, started CPR and had him revived in no time.

  I’ve had machine guns shot over me as I was crawling in mud. I’ve been 3′ away from an angry diamondback rattlesnake in the dark. I survived a T-impact automobile accident at 70mph… and none of those things scared me like I was scared when my son wasn’t breathing.

  Trust me - I used to drive like a total maniac, after having kids… I drive a ‘95 Taurus at the speed limit in the far right lane. At least when my son’s in the car. Kids change everything about your life. Your life stops being about you and becomes about them. I’m not “Don” anymore, I’m “Gabe’s Dad.”

• onthegowith5xy
  Dec 24, 2007 at 6:14 am

  Well said, Don. I agree with you 100%. Life totally changes when you have children. I am a completly different person. Before I had kids, I partied all the time, smoked pot, and many other irresponsible things. After I became a mother all of that ceased! Every thing I do I do it for my boys! They are the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. If the situation did arise where my husband had to choose me or one of our children, he would choose the child. We have talked about this and he agreees whole heartedly. Children are innocent and helpless, they need us to be there for them, they need us to love them with our whole hearts. I could NEVER love ANYONE more than I love my boys, it is impossible!

• loving_mom
  Dec 24, 2007 at 7:23 am

  Kitty,

  In response to this:

  “I believe that a parent should love their spouse more than they love their child. To do otherwise puts an unfair burden on the child, and they are afraid to become independent, and thus leave “mommy” with no one. I know several grown children who are afraid to date or even move out of their parent’s house for that reason.”

  The love you have for your spouse and the love you have for your child are two different loves. While I could never put my husband or myself before my children I love my husband in a way that I do not love my children and I have a love for my children in a way that I do not have one for my husband.

  Just to throw my two pennies in on the whole mother or child choice. When my first son was born we had this conversation one evening. I have lived and enjoyed most of my life. I, along with my husband, made the decision together that no matter what we would save the baby. Personally I feel that all expecting parents should talk about that together before the child is born. While I can understand the argument “Well babies need their mothers” I also know that my child would know who I am if I was not here today. I also know my husband, if I were to have passed on and he were to get re-married, would not let some bimbo off the street take care of my child(ren).

• Ihavekidstoo
  Dec 24, 2007 at 9:31 am

  Loving_mom, EXTREMELY WELL SAID!! That’s what I was trying to convey to Kitty but wasn’t finding the right words.

  It’s difficult to compare the love you have for your spouse with the love you have for your children because they are two different kinds of love. And if you love your spouse, and they love you, then you will both be in agreement that your children will always come first.

  Kitty, I admire that you are thinking seriously about these issues BEFORE you have children. Not enough people do. The fact that you are considering these things means you’re already ahead of the game in terms of becoming a good parent, because there is a LOT of thinking that goes into good parenting.

  And I have to agree with the consensus here - when I was pregnant I was considered very high risk. My husband was very afraid of losing me, but he agreed that if it was a choice between my life and the baby’s we would always do whatever had to be done to save our baby, even if it meant I would lose my life.

• onthegowith5xy
  Dec 24, 2007 at 4:53 pm

  I agree, VERY well said loving_mom!

• Lilbay
  Dec 24, 2007 at 6:04 pm

  Don you said that very well. Than again you and I seem to have pretty much the same ideas when it comes to kids from past posts on other boards.
  In regards to the love and relationship issues “loving Mom” and “I have Kids too” have hit the nail on the head
  I am a Single Mom so can not speak from love one more than another Frankly My kids come before my own life. They after all would not be here with out me bringing them here and I owe them all I can to make sure they have what they need in life to grow up healthy happy and safe.

  This is where I think the issues stem from that you are referring to in regards to relationships messing up a child Those relationships were Not healthy and stemmed from the parent putting the child in a role that the child was not ever meant to be in. So it is not if you love one more than the other it is simply If you are properly handling those relationships you have with your kids. Actually when it comes down to the way many kids are now days I believe the improper relationships where parents who start parenting to soon as still immature in many ways and therefore have limited knowledge of the proper relationship or you have the ones who try to Live the life they missed living through their kids and became ‘friends” and not parents These are the type relationships that I think result in stories like we see on here many times. An example is the Mom who bought her son guns. She was not his Mom in that role she was his “friend” or “buddy”.
  The woman who bullied the girl She was not being a parent she was being a “friend” living out her life through her kids. The Mom who supplied the laughing gas for her son and his friends Again a “buddy relationship
  If parents would stand up and be parents than maybe some of this would stop.

• Ihavekidstoo
  Dec 24, 2007 at 8:23 pm

  Lilbay - you are exactly right. So many problems kids have today stem from parents who don’t want to BE parents, but want to try to be friends instead. It is totally possible to have a loving, friendly, respectful relationship with your child and STILL be their parent, NOT their friend.

  The difference comes in that sometimes a parent has to say no, or go against the child’s wishes in order to do what’s best for him. A parent does what has to be done and trusts that time and maturity will allow the child to one day understand why the parent made a choice the child didn’t like.

  A few months ago, my 3-year-old came home from daycare saying “Mommy is my friend.” Apparently, in school, the teachers refer to everyone as “friends.” I told him very gently but clearly, “No, honey, Mommy is your mommy, NOT your friend. You can have LOTS of friends, but you only have one Mommy, and I love you more than any friend ever could.” Obviously, he didn’t understand everything I said, but he did get the idea that Mommy is different from his little friends at school.

• Kitty
  Dec 25, 2007 at 12:23 am

  I asked about the “choice” matter, because my Grandfather was given the choice, and even though he could hear my grandmother loudly shouting “save my baby!” in the background, he said “Ignore her. Save my wife.” He believed this was a full human being, and it broke his heart to say it, but it wasn’t his wife’s fault that they were in this mess, so she came first.

  And all of my sisters and their husbands have not hesitated to voice support for my grandfather’s position. My sisters’ husbands would happily risk their own lives to save their children, but their wives? Never. One of them was actually in the position of catching his first wife abusing a child (sexual abuse and not theirs), and he didn’t hesitate to testify against his wife, and help send her to jail, though it broke his heart. He divorced his first wife over this, and he is very much against divorce.

  Furthermore, though I could, technically, carry a baby to term, because it would be a “high-risk” pregnancy, my husband has put his foot down. He’d rather die childless than risk me. That’s not the same as risking a mother to *save* a child, but I never questioned his attitude before. My parents would have certainly made that choice, and they were good people. It makes me wonder if we are capable of being good parents. *smiles*

  I don’t expect anyone to believe this, because everyone says it, but my husband is like oxygen to me. He feels the same way about me. Part of me wonders, now, if a child would feel neglected, because I don’t know that I’m capable of loving another human being as much as I love him. I do love children, and want one so badly it hurts. But babies need love, and if I can’t give it to them, then I shouldn’t have one.

  I guess you are right, though, that the problems I see aren’t so much of prioritizing properly, but of knowing that one love is completely different from the other and drawing a clear line.

  And my mother gave me the exact same lecture as “Ihavekidstoo”. I was about five and I still remember it. It made an impact.

  You’ve all given me much to think about. *smiles*

• 13watchdog
  Dec 25, 2007 at 8:08 am

  It is like this where love is concerned. Once you love someone that love willnever go away, if it was true love. I had to tell a 20 year old “other son” that I understand he might hate his Mom and some of her choices in life, but you will always love her, because love does not go away. Someone that loves you one minute and beats the sh-t out of you the next is not loving, PERIOD.

• Pak67
  Jan 1, 2008 at 3:16 pm

  13Watchdog, AWESOME!!! I have said this to myself many times but have never heard anyone actually say it. That is why it kills me when I read of so many divorces, especially in Hollywood. “Oh they were so in love, and now they are best friends”. BS. If you truly love someone then that love never dies. My husband and I have been together for 22 years, 14 of those as a married couple. We have changed a lot since we started out at 17 yrs old but one thing that hasn’t is the love we have for each other. It’s not as exciting as it was 20 years ago but IT’S STILL THERE and always will be. That is why it’s easy to stay married. No matter what happens in our lives there is nothing we can’t work out. I wish others knew what real love feels like.

• Pak67
  Jan 1, 2008 at 3:19 pm

  Loving Mom you are correct. Even my own mother used to say the same thing. She would tell us when we asked who she loved more that the love she had for my dad was a different kind of love. It is a romantic kind of love where the love for your children is a natural, unconditional, inborn kind of love. I love my hubby and children very much and I have to say that the love for my children goes deeper than for him, he agrees though, so that’s a good thing.

• Pak67
  Jan 1, 2008 at 3:30 pm

  Kitty, I understand you. I used to have a boss (a man)that asked us once,”you, your spouse and children are in a sinking boat and you have only enough life preserves to save either your child or your spouse, who do you save? Most said their kids but my boss insisted he would let the kids die and save his wife. I disagreed but he said that he and his wife were committed life long partners. As a mother I couldn’t let my kids go thru that. You will see though that, if you ever have children, you cannot know how you would feel til you have those babies. They are a part of you and they need you. No way will they grow up dependent on you. Too many kids are raised without enough love. Kids need to know that they are loved by their parents, it makes them better loving adults I believe. The things you do to convey your love to your spouse are not the same as for your kids. You’ll love them no matter what they do, forever. I feel that if a person is afraid to date it can’t ever be because their mom loved them more than their father, that’s crazy. The adult men in your life who are good guys are that way because they had awesome role models. This woman, had to have known that this boyfriend was a loser before she hooked up with him. I mean, I people would date each other long enough, you get a good idea if the guy is husband/father material. I highly doubt he was either.

• Pak67
  Jan 1, 2008 at 3:35 pm

  Watchdog, I don’t think that not putting a man before your child is why you haven’t been married. I think maybe you just haven’t found the right guy. I truly believe that when love is real that there isn’t much effort in how you feel about issues and children etc. If it’s the right guy, he won’t walk all over you, he will respect you, he will treat you nicely and will love your child. I hope you find that guy.

• canon
  Mar 26, 2008 at 7:44 am

  Kitty, I understand completely what you’re talking about. When my wife was going through labor and the pregnancy, the main concern I had was for her well being. I made it clear to the medical staff that her life was more valuable than our child’s.
  I love my son who was born last summer, and I also understand that the love of a child is totally different from loving your spouse.

  In Christianity, even God sacrificed his “only begotten son,” to save his bride, the church.
  Anyway, it can also depend on one’s cultural background. In many parts of the world (and at one time in the U.S.), children are viewed differently. In the U.S. we have lots of leisure compared to other places, and that factors into our cultural views on having/raising children and thoughts on “love.”

  When you’re starving in Africa, it’s hard to focus on such things when most of your thoughts are probably on feeding your family. And in those situations, father and mother will not sacrifice. Because who will take care of the other children there may be if one or both spouses die?

  Now it’s not contradictory to say that parents will do as much as they can to preserve their young.

  There was a question we had in grad school, “in a boat you have yourself, spouse, child, and mother, and you can only save yourself and one other, who would it be?” There wasn’t a self-sacrifice option so don’t take it there.
  The point was to show cultural/societal differences. I said spouse because she is my life. A muslim friend of mine said mother because you can always find another spouse or have another child, but you will always only have one mother. FYI, Americans tend to pick their child.

• canon
  Mar 26, 2008 at 7:46 am

  hehe, I wonder if there’s a connection to the high divorce rate and Americans choosing their children over spouses.

• Ihavekidstoo
  Mar 26, 2008 at 9:47 am

  In the life boat scenario, if my husband chose me, he would ultimately wind up losing his child, his mother AND me. Because I could never forgive him for NOT saving our son, and for forcing ME to live without my baby. Not saying any answer is right or wrong, just that this is my answer.

  And Canon, I think if Americans actually DID choose their children over what they or their spouses want there would actually be less divorce in our country. Because children will always want to see their parents together. In the old days, if a couple didn’t get along, they sucked it up and stayed together and treated each other civally until the kids were grown up and on their own. THEN they went their separate ways to pursue their own desires.

  Today, Americans put their individual desires first, before what’s best for their children or even for their spouses. THAT is why our divorce rate is so high.

• morrigan
  Mar 26, 2008 at 9:58 am

  my last three pregnancy’s were “High Risk” and i made the decision to go ahead with the pregnancies (i was on the pill with all three…)against the wishes of my dr and husband. after my last child was born i had some major medical issues but when she was three months old i found out i was pregnant again. i miscarried a week later, and although that was the worst week of my life…it did show me how different men and women think about children. when the dr told me that with all the problems i was having, it would be in my best interest to terminate the pregnancy, and my husband agreed, i freaked out. i have a child growing inside me, im not going to kill it just because it would be “in my best interest” my husband and i fought that whole week and in the end the decision was taken out of my hands, but if it had been a viable pregnancy there would have been no choice for me.

  as far as choosing my kids over my husband? no contest there. i kicked my second husband out, because he was neglectful of our kids (he decided sleep was more important than keeping an eye on our sons, ages 2 and 3 at the time. i came home from work to my 2 year old in the middle of the kitchen with dish soap covering him and dad asleep on the couch…it took me 10 minutes to wake him up) and he became violent with me, on our youngest sons birthday. i gave him the choice to pack and leave on his own or in the back of a cop car, staying was not an option.

  my kids come first, period. Before my husband, father, family, grandparents….my kids are priority 1, everything else is secondary.

• canon
  Mar 26, 2008 at 10:39 am

  I don’t know if staying together just for the kids is the best either.

  I know a tween who spends time with us sometimes, and his parents are only married by legality and fell out of love long ago. The young boy asked a funny question once, “Do you two sleep in the same bed?” We were like, yeah? His parents don’t. Kids are not dumb, they know what’s going on, and if the parents don’t love each other, they can tell. My brother and I knew what was going on in our household before our parents divorced when we were 9 and 7. And the young boy has no idea what a healthy marriage is like, and his parents give him Ritalin to calm him when really he just needs parents. It takes a village, and I was interested in helping him out a bit. He’s not so “crazy” anymore and once he was over for a weekend, I told him to stop taking the Ritalin because I wanted to see what he was like without it. He was worried about it but agreed. He was a little more active and wanted to play ball outside more (tired me out!), but to me he was a normal preteen boy.

• canon
  Mar 26, 2008 at 10:46 am

  I do agree that we should do as much for our kids when we can. But the love is different for spouse and child, and although I would never want to lose either of them, in a situation where I had a choice, like during labor to save wife, I would save her in an instant because I love her with all my heart and she is truly the other half of my life.
  The love concerning my son seems more like an instinct, and I’ve been trying to observe the changes in myself since he was born. I feel like protecting him from everything, and when i read about these really HORRIBLE situations I think of my son.
  Needless to say, I’m sure we would all sacrifice “ourselves,” but I wouldn’t choose to sacrifice my wife over my son. I just can’t.

• canon
  Mar 26, 2008 at 10:49 am

  I do agree that we should do as much for our kids when we can. But the love is different for spouse and child, and although I would never want to lose either of them, in a situation where I had a choice, like during labor to save wife, I would save her in an instant because I love her with all my heart and she is truly the other half of my life.
  The love concerning my son seems more like an instinct, and I’ve been trying to observe the changes in myself since he was born. I feel like protecting him from everything, and when i read about these really HORRIBLE situations I think of my son.
  Needless to say, I’m sure we would all sacrifice “ourselves,” but I wouldn’t choose to sacrifice my wife over my son. I just can’t. We’ve been married for 8 years now and we’re 28 and making a life “together.” It’s “our” life, and it’s like we’re one person. Sounds stupid, but I really can’t fathom life without her. Even the doctors and nurses were upset that I never left her side when he was born. She went through a natural/vaginal birth, and I wanted to be there for her the moments after. Ok, tearing up. bye

• loving_mom
  Mar 26, 2008 at 7:14 pm

  I hate to dwell on the past but, I think Kitty said something along the lines of not wanting to spend the rest of you life with your children. Well I sure hope I do. I love my babies.

  I asked my husband a while back about the whole If it were me or the kids thing. He told me that if it was with our first child he would choose the child. Which him and I had a very lengthy conversation about this before our first son was born and I agreed with him. When I got pregnant with our daughter he told me that he would choose me over the baby. I asked him why and he said becasue we already had a beautiful child who needed and loved me. All though he would be torn to loose his child we could always try and have another.

  Either way continue to pray that you nor anyone close to you will ever have to make that decision.

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