Parents Behaving Badly

Report: Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Brags about Fucking His Daughter’s Stunt Double

by admin on September 27th, 2006

Okay, official announcement: I hereby forgive Lindsay Lohan for anything she’s ever done or may ever do. (Unoless she does something unforgivable, like go on a psychopathic killing spree, or make a sequel to Herbie: Fully Loaded.) I mean, I knew Michael Lohan was a fucked-up hunk o’ beetle-turds, but if this report is true, it takes "fucked-up" to new and astonishing levels. According to an anonymous inmate at the prison where Senor Lohan is being detained, the father figure does nothing but brag about himself, his fortune, and his sexual exploits. Among those exploits: banging his own daughter’s stunt double.

Eeeeeeewwwww. I mean, okay, it’s not like this woman was Lindsay’s body double, but…EEEEEWWWWWWW. "Close" doesn’t just count in horseshoes and hand grenades - it counts toward fucking anyone who even has a vague resemblance to one of your offspring.

The New Kerala of India sources the report back to the New York Daily News. The NYDN’s report is here (scroll down for La Vida Lohan); it’s freely available now, but will likely become gated, pay-per-view content shortly. The letter was reportedly "kited" out of the facility on foot in order to avoid scrutiny by prison officials, who are apparently rabid Michael Lohan fans hellbent on preserving the man’s dignity. (*snort*) The anonymous writer delivered a final knee to dad’s balls by claiming that Mr. Lohan never even chats about his sons - it’s all Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. (Again, say it with me….EEEEEWWWW.) In light of this, Lindsay’s recent public behavior seems downright trite and…well, expected. What kind of child grows up with that as an influence, and turns out normal?

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