Spot the Bad Parent: International Custody Case Turns Ugly
The case of Molly Campbell is one of those where you know someone’s on the wrong side of their child’s best interests; it’s just not straightforward determining who that someone is. In this case, the nod appears to go to Molly Campbell’s father, And Sajad Rana, who stands accused in a Pakistani court of "abducting" his 12-year-old daughter from the remote Scottish island where she lived with her mother and taking her back to Lahore. Why did I scare-quote "abducting"? Because Molly Campbell looks perfectly content to be with her dad…and has nothing but contempt for her mother, Louise Campbell, of whom Molly says: "If she loves me she’ll let me stay here."
Louise Campbell, of course, counters that this is not in Molly’s best interests, and that Rana is a monster of a man who has "brainwashed" his daughter into preferring him to her mother. She also contends that Rana wants to force his daughter into an arranged Muslim marriage - a contention that Molly denies. Sorry, but mum lost me with the "brainwashing" charge. Whenever a parent accuses another of "brainwashing" their child, you’re almost certainly dealing with a case of sour grapes, involving a heavy denial of reality on the part of the accuser. Let it go, Ms. Campbell. You’ve obviously screwed the pooch on your relationship with your daughter; time and distance is obviously what she needs right now.
Tags: abduction, brainwashing, britain, father, kidnapping, lahore, molly-campbell, mother, pakistanRelated Stories
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1 opinion for Spot the Bad Parent: International Custody Case Turns Ugly
silverside
Sep 28, 2006 at 11:00 am
Actually, the “brainwashing” issue is a little more complex than that. There is an extensive literature dealing with these issues–some laughably bad (Richard Gardner and “Parental Alienation Syndrome”) and some rather perceptive.
It is not unheard of in the slightest for men with histories of domestic violence (and its usual symptoms of entitlement and control) to encourage badmouthing and disrespect towards the children’s mother. In fact, it’s more typical than not. A decently trained therapist should be able to root out what is a genuine preference for a child vs. a reaction fostered out of fear, the desire to ally with the “powerful” parent, and the parroting of the father’s disrespect. The fact that she was previously kidnapped and isolated from the mother is not in the father’s favor here, but suggests that heavy-duty mental pressure is at work here, especially if the girl cannot cite actual abuse or neglect on the mother’s part, but sticks to “stock” answers.
Indeed, a “Stockholm” reaction has been observed even in adult captives (e.g. victims who ally with their kidnapper through traumatic bonding.) So is it any surprise that we see this phenomena in a child vis a vis a parent?
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