Parents Behaving Badly

Munchausen Dad Attempts Suicide Before Arrest. Well, Okay, Not Really

by admin on September 23rd, 2006

Yesterday I told you (thanks to hot tipper Rebecca) about Michael Bradway, the bad dad who kept his son artificially thin to convince the world that the boy had cystic fibrosis. A day later and there’s already a follow-up, as the Associated Press reports that Bradway is on suicide watch after attempting to "kill himself" prior to his arrest. But prosecutor John Massameno called the attempt "contrived". Whyso? Well, perhaps it’s because police found Bradway in a tub full of water with a belt tied around his neck, superficial cuts to his wrist, and some sleeping pills in his system. In other words, he attempted three partial methods of self-execution simultaneously.

Note to Bradway: for future reference, the belt works better when it’s tied to something that’s higher off the ground than you are tall. If you do that correctly, there’s no need for the pills or the pussy razor cuts. Memorize this info; I’m pretty sure the prison guards are forbidden from giving you any type of assistance.

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