Thomas Frazza Kills Self, Two Sons
[UPDATE: I’ve redacted this entry. Based on all reports, Tom Frazza was a good man and father who experienced a sudden, inexplicable slide into madness. My job here is to hold parents to account for their crimes; that mandate doesn’t apply when someone may not be in full control of their actions. I apologize for any harm my words caused his friends and surviving family.]
People are pulling out the "he seemed like such a nice guy" routine for Thomas Frazza, a Washington Township, New Jersey man who no longer roams the Earth. Seems Frazza was stressed out by his failing business that he decided to cash in the chips. His perogative, I suppose. But, like all good cowards and bastards, Frazza wasn’t content just to take himself out of the game. Oh, no. His despair and bitterness ran so deep that he shot his sons, 20-year-old John and 14-year-old Kevin, before turning his weapon on himself. Because Goddess forbid you have to sell your home on the Jersey shore because of your debt. FAR better to kill your children in their sleep than live through THAT indignity.
I have a suspicion that John and Kevin would have chosen life. But that’s just conjecture.
Frazza is survived by his wife and daughter, who were out shopping at the time. Which raises the question: What was going through this guy’s addled brain? Did he snap and decide to take out whoever he could? Or was it a conscious decision, some kind of bizarre murderous sexism, to spare the women and take only the men with him? Just like with a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.
Congratulations, Thomas Frazza, for letting your personal problems spiral out of control. Any good you might have ever done in the world has effectively been erased. No one would have considered you a "failure" as a father for having to sell your home and tighten your belt while you helped shepard your family through hard times. But now, you’re saddled with the title of "Despicable Bastard" for all eternity.
Tags: father, murder, new-jersey, suicide, washington-township
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35 opinions for Thomas Frazza Kills Self, Two Sons
Lori
Aug 19, 2006 at 11:38 am
Is this some sick new trend?
Douglas W. Pennington: Another Dad Takes Two Too Many People with Him - from Parents Behaving Badly by Jay Andrew Allen
Oct 8, 2006 at 10:20 pm
[…] It’s strange what sensationalist stories the big media outlets decide to latch on to. A dad who kills his two sons in their sleep, then shoots himself? That didn’t seem to merit much national attention. But a dad who kills his two sons, then shoots himself…at college? Headline news! The latest tragic murder-suicide comes from West Virginia, where Douglas W. Pennington shot his two sons Logan and Benjamin at Shepherd University, then turned the weapon on himself. No motive’s been given. Unfortunately, in cases like these, the motive usually dies with the suspect. […]
Chris Turrisi
Oct 16, 2006 at 6:25 pm
All your facts in this story were not all true.You make Tom sound like a horribly person. He was so dedicated but he just had many different money problems. I knew Kevin, Tom and John personally. I was a good friend of Kevin’s and I went to school. I just recently went on the diabetic walk for Frazza and it was very sucessful.
The Zero Boss
Oct 16, 2006 at 6:30 pm
“You make Tom sound a horrible person.”
Yeah, Chris. Because great fathers ALWAYS kill their own children.
And what facts, precisely, are wrong here? Educate us.
Amanda
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:10 pm
Although some people might be angry and question why Thomas Frazza did this, we will never know what exactly happened and Kevin and John did deserve to live but it was meant to happen as horrible as it seems and i believe they are in a better place. Thomas killed his own son who was my friend, whatever reasons led him to his actions i will never understand. I am still mad when I think about it, I miss Kevin and I wish it weren’t him, but you dont have the right to talk about Thomas that way. What he did was wrong and it devastated all of us but you and i both don’t know what happened so you have no right to say anything about Mr. Frazza.
The Zero Boss
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Society has EVERY right to judge people who take a life, Amanda. That’s what this site is dedicated to: calling out people who abandon their responsibilities as parents, for whatever reason. If you can’t take that (and many can’t), I suggest not reading.
melissa
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:21 pm
um excuse me, but i was EXTREMLEY good friends with the frazza’s. how dare you talk about Mr. Frazza that way? who do you think you are?? you have NO IDEA what was going through his mind, nor do any of us.
you disgrace me.
The Zero Boss
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:22 pm
I’m disgraceful, but the guy who KILLED HIS CHILDREN is an object of pity?
You people are disturbed. What is happening to this society?!
melissa
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:24 pm
you are.
keep your mouth shut.
yes, it was wrong to kill his children. but to go talk about him like this? have some respect.
The Zero Boss
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Have some respect for the innocent, Melissa, and stop manufacturing excuses for a killer.
That will be my last word on this subject. Feel free to keep flaming me to your heart’s content.
melissa
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:33 pm
why dont you get a life, and stop writing articles about people you dont even know. i hope you know that this just proves how low, and selfish you really are. you have no idea how this article is affecting the friends and family of the Frazza’s.
who do you think you are, you think you have the right to call him a “coward” and a “bastard”. ohplease, stop describing yourself.
i hope everyone that is reading this, realizes how disgraceful this article is, and how innaccurate most of the points are.
get your story straight.
i suggest you find a different hobby than writing these articles.
melissa
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:35 pm
and i think the title of “dispicable bastard” for all eternity,
is more describing you, than mr. frazza.
The Frazza Children: Please Tell Your Story - from Parents Behaving Badly by Jay Andrew Allen
Oct 17, 2006 at 3:09 pm
[…] Last night, a large number of people came to this blog and took me to task for the unkind words I had about Thomas Frazza, the father who shot his two sons before turning the weapon on himself. Folks called me all sorts of names for tongue-lashing this dad who had broken his parental covenant. I even had several friends of Kevin Frazza, one of the boys, contact me via instant message about the incident. […]
thordora
Oct 17, 2006 at 3:53 pm
I would like to hear what “good” this guy did then to negate the fact that he murdered his own children. I find it odd that women like Andrea Yates are immediately castigated, and yet when men do it, we don’t know what went on in their heads, and we should pity them, and not speak ill of the dead.
Yet another lovely double standard.
The Zero Boss
Oct 17, 2006 at 5:00 pm
Folks, I’ve created a new thread where friends and family can share thoughts on the Frazza brothers. We’re not going to agree on the dad’s actions, but perhaps we can come together for a moment, and you all can share what made these boys such special people. If there’s one thing we CAN agree on, it’s that their loss is a tragedy.
http://www.parentsbehavingbadly.com/2006/10/17/the-frazza-children-please-tell-your-story/
Maria P.
Oct 17, 2006 at 9:15 pm
Melissa you my dear are a piece of work. Nice.
The Zero Boss
Oct 18, 2006 at 11:12 am
Maria, people will do silly, stupid things in order to bring some sort of sense to a tragedy. But yes, I find it incredible that people would come on here and accuse ME of causing this family pain. If anyone caused the family pain, it’s Thomas Frazza.
It’s too bad no one has come back to share memories of the boys. That’d be a much more positive thing to do that attempt to defend a killer.
Amanda
Oct 18, 2006 at 2:44 pm
I say God has a plan for everyone, and although Kevins time was short he taught every single person something about themselves. He always had a smile on his face. He taught me to pick my head up when i was down. He also taught me not to take one single breathe for granted because it could be gone in a heartbeat. I miss him and i wish this didnt happen but hes in a better place now, much better then where we are and that was Gods plan for him. I have God in my heart and i am able to forgive Mr. Frazza because that is what i am taught to do. I dont think what he did was right but i know Kevin is happy and peaceful looking down on me, and thats all that matters to me is that he is okay. And i know for a fact her is.
Ken Frazza
Nov 30, 2006 at 12:10 pm
Mr. Zero Boss.
For some reason I was searching on Tom today and found your site. I am Tom’s brother and therefore Kevin and John’s Uncle. Although it is only a little over 4 months, I can not remember what life was like before it happened.
As being the one who found them, I was right in the middle of everything and lost all respect for the media. With the mis-information the press was releasing, and with the antics of how they went about trying to get there information, it was really disgusting. That being said, I know they had a job to do so I do try and look at things from the other side.
Reading the back and forth on your site made me decide to finally break my silence. I have my own blog and wanted to post about everything but decided I would keep quite out of respect for my family and all of John, Kevin, and Tom’s friends.
Here is what I have to say. Please do not be so harsh in your judgement of the situation. As, unless we walk in someone shoes, how can we truely know what is going on inside of them. Yes, this was a horrible senseless act and I still haven’t figured out why it happened. At the same time, I can’t even begin to image what kind of pain Tom was in in order for this to be his best option.
I can tell you that Tom was a loving and devoted father and somehow it just all went terribly wrong at the end. I can also tell you that both John and Kevin were wonderful young men and I am saddened that they did not have more time to make a bigger mark on this earth.
One of the positive things that came out of this was how so many of John and Kevin’s friends showed there love for them. The school and community were just wonderful in there support and helping all of the young people get through all of this. It make me feel good inside to see others defending my brother on this site. I want to thank everyone who shared in our pain and loss and continues to show there love of the deceased.
This has forever changed my life and how I now view life. “As a gift”. Make sure you take the time to tell those you love, that you do love them. Also, find a way to forgive people as we are all human and prone to make mistakes. It is not for us to judge someone elses actions but rather to find within ourselve what they are trying to show us about ourselves.
Thank you for allowing me to share this with you.
Your olive branch is excepted!
Love,
Ken
Pete
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Thank you ken for finally straightening this guy out i was honored to be a part of the frazza familys lives and i was extremely angered by the sudden ruthlessnes replaced towards tom i knew him very well . and any one that would ever known him would agree that he isnt any of the despicable names this pitiful man calls him he was i over generous man who cared an extreme amount for his kids and was very freindly to everyone around him. i was graced to have known tom personally and he was a very respectfull fun person to be around. I
Personal Friend
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:18 pm
well for one you sick fucker mr. frazza was a great man who loved his whole family. what he did was uncalled for and both jon and kevin will be missed but you….. a person who didnt even know the family going out there and talking about him like that….you are the disrepectful bastard that is talking shit about a man who tried his hardest through all he could to provide for his family. you are the lowlyest of all people on the list of people who knew jon and kevin. congradulations fucker you made your point.
The Zero Boss
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:20 pm
PF: Um, with all due respect, I think Ken Frazza was sicker than I’ve ever been.
Personal Friend
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:23 pm
towards you i have no respect
Derek Kademian
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:24 pm
Hi ummm excuse but did you even know Mr.Frazza. Anyway you are seriously making Mr. Frazza seem like he was the worst person who ever lived. Yes i agree he did make a awful decision to take his sons lives. I knew Kevin and John both and i was at there house many times. Every time i went over and i talked to Mr.Frazza and he was nice to everyone. He loved his children very much what he was thinking when he did this terrible thing i have know idea. But I think that the next time you write something that you don’t even have the facts about you should really have know right to write something like this.
Jimmy
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:35 pm
first off let me come out of the gate by calling YOU the coward, for not really saying who you are, and by doing this over the internet. How pathetic do you have to be to write about a tragedy that has devastated so many people, who still haven’t got over this. You’ve committed as bad of a sin as Mr. Frazza did, you’ve made all of us feel the hurt of this incident all over again. You’ve brought it all back to life. I think i can speak for all of us when i say we have come to forgive Mr. Frazza, but you have just made us all fall back down. You should seriously be ashamed of yourself and maybe focus on your problems, because someone who could just come out thin air and write an article like that must be wanting some kind of attention or satisfaction out of hurting people. If I were you i’d either apologize or take what you said off the internet. You’ve ruined my whole day, and i’m sure i’ll be like this for a few days after this..but i’m not mad at Mr. Frazza, i’m mad at you. Have a good night Mr. Zero.
The Zero Boss
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:41 pm
I’m not anonymous, dude. My name is Jay Andrew Allen. I live in Seattle.
Second of all, you need to read my follow-up post, in which I acknowledge that Mr. Frazza seemed desperately ill and in need of help.
It was never my intention to hurt anybody. This site is about protecting people who too often get the least protection: children.
Personal Friend
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:42 pm
how the fuck do you right about something in NJ when your in Washington?
explain that to me
The Zero Boss
Dec 14, 2006 at 3:46 pm
PF: I sit at a computer. I type. I hit “Publish”. It’s not that hard.
Look, folks, I’ve already written a follow-up post saying that I went overboard in my condemnation of Tom. I’m working to do a better job at separating out truly evil parents from those who, for whatever reason, fall into a deep psychological rut from which they can’t escape. I fucked up with this post. I’m not a perfect person. I shiuld have been more compassionate toward the father’s deep suffering.
If I go overboard in my condemnation of some parents - as I did in the case of Mr. Frazza - it’s only because I’m outraged that some parents can act so monstrously towards their young.
Ken Frazza
Dec 14, 2006 at 6:48 pm
Everyone, Enough. There was enough violence in Tom’s actions. It’s time for everyone to heal and get on with life. What’s been done, can not be undone! Let us focus on all of the love we have for everyone who is gone.
As much as I do not agree with Mr Zero Boss’es comments, this is America and everyone is entitled to there opinion. For those of us who knew Tom and know that he was not an evil person, that has to be enough for you. Do not feed the anger, with more anger.
On a positive note, there was a workout room dedicated in Kevin Frazza’s name at Westwood High school today. So his memory will live on.
This will be my last post as I do not want to fuel any further anger on this. It’s time to heal.
Love,
Ken Frazza
The Zero Boss
Dec 14, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Thanks, Ken.
I’ve updated this entry redacting the inflammatory text. This truly does sound like a case of mental illness, and not willful evil.
Kris
Feb 7, 2007 at 4:04 pm
First of all, I think this website is obscene. To find a tragedy like this essentially used as a satirical parody is beyond frustrating for me. I knew the Frazza family personally. However, you didn’t have to know them personally to know that Tom’s wife and daughter were not “out shopping.” Get your facts straight buddy, before you go and post something like this. I don’t care that you issued an apology. Take the article off the internet - people can read through the strikeout.
Thanks for taking someone’s pain and misery and posting it all over the internet for everyone else to gawk at.
luke
Jul 6, 2007 at 8:48 pm
I just don’t understand how everyone can protect him Kevins father after he took his two childrens lives. I understand he might have lost it but you can’t go protecting a man who murdered his own children and then himself.
friend of frazza's
Jul 29, 2007 at 10:12 pm
hey mr.zero..not hear to be a bitch or anything but for real are you talking about a decieased life and talking smack about someone that you’ve met how many times..ZERO! get on with your life make something of it besided writing about people who you dont know..i think you have an illness..this town has just had the one year memorial for the frazza family..and im just reading your site now and if i read it a year ago i would have been in seatle find your dumb ass..later freak.
Larissa
Jul 30, 2007 at 1:10 am
I do understand about mental illness, most definitely. It can affect our thoughts and even put our loved ones in danger without meaning to do so. HOWEVER, the fact remains, this guy still killed the kids. HE KILLED THEM!! Because I feel so strongly about this , I am going to get personal. I , myself, for years had serious issues with depression, etc. even to the point where it once affected my parenting to a degree, to the point of hospitalization. BUT AT no time whatsoever, did I or would I intentionally hurt my kids. And believe me, I’ve had very bad episodes where I’ve felt “crazy” and have done things without thinking ,etc, etc. But I’m sorry, it takes a SELFISH person to hurt their own child purposely. Selfish..I don’t care if you are stressed out to the tee. YOU DEAL with it. I can even see taking it out on yourself. NOT YOUR KIDS!!How many times have any one of us felt like we couldn’t cope anymore or that “life was over” because of personal problems, financial, etc. ?? If you want to hurt yourself , that’s sad, but that’s your own choice in my opinion. But to kill your kids? He didn’t have that right at all. Yes, I agree. this wasn’t a concious decision of child abuse or torturing his kids. I’m sure it was triggered by his mental state at the time. But I do not feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for his kids that were so selfishly killed. I agree with everything Mr. Zero said and he shouldn’t of had to apologize or retract his statements. I’m sorry for the friends and family of this selfish man that killed his kids. But unless it’s self defense, there is no good reason or excuse to kill your kids. Let’s get with the program. It didn’t make it okay that he killed himself on top of it. This reminds me of those stories of people killing their kids and then they get off by reason of insanity or depression, or PTSD. Of course all those are true disorders and many people can’t help the thoughts that they have that perhaps debilitate or torture them and I am sympathetic because I know firsthand. BUT when you love your kids, there is no love like that, in my opinion, and whatever your thoughts may be, you don’t act on them if it involves hurting your kids. Mental illness is an ongoing battle and when combined with stress, yes it can cause you to snap, perhaps. But I state my case again>>>>> YOU CONTROL YOUR URGES OR SEEK HELP IF YOU HAVE THOUGHTS TO HURT YOUR KIDS!! This pisses me off. People going around and killing and maiming their poor children. and you know what as harsh as this may sound, I’m sorry. After killing his kids, I look at it this way…….A LIFE FOR A LIFE. He should have no reaon of living after killing his kids, anyway. ASSHOLES THAT HURT YOUR KIDS BECAUSE YOU ARE STRESSED OUT> GET SOME DAMN HELP OR GIVE YOUR CHILD TO SOMEONE THAT WILL LOVE THEM AND DON”T HAVE ANY MORE KIDS………….Wow, I have no money, my families driving me crazy, I hate this world, let me go kill my kids…..Yeah , right, what a solution. Life can really suck sometimes; deal with it like everybody else!
lv2rdrd2lv@yahoo.com
Oct 15, 2008 at 7:38 pm
dude, i was EXTREMELY close friends with kevin and tom. tom and my dad would coach teams together and talk about toms money problem. my dad and tom were even talking about going to start a new business together. tom would take me to hockey practices with kevin, and we would have an awsome time in the car. i always wished that every dad was like mr. frazza. have u ever herd about someone “plea insanity”? yes, it happens. peoples brains take over there body, and make the person into someone theyre not. that doesnt mean that tom was a bad person at all. shit happens. he killed my close friend but im not as mad as i would be at him if someone who was a bad person killed him.
PLEASE write back, i would love to hear what u have to say.
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