Is Joe Simpson The Devil Incarnate?
No, Joe Simpson is not Homer’s brother. (Though from an angle, the resemblance is eerie.) He’s the father/manager of Jessica Simpson and…uh…the less-talented Simpson chick. And, from all reports, he’s something of a prick. Ex-son-in-law Nick Lachey certainly has no love lost for Blondie, who by some reports tracked the male singing star from bar to bar in the months prior to Lachey’s divorce from Simpson. The Simpson camp has "rubbished" these claims (Lord, but I love a good British-ism). True or not, however, Lachey has made his own feelings clear: He’d rather take his chances with The Prince of Darkness than be stuck on a desert island with Joe.
Apparently, Lachey isn’t the only one. Scuttlebutt has it that the Simpson daughters themselves are fed up with their dad’s "controlling" behavior…not to mention the way he’s always taking about their boobs. Eeeewww! Daaaad! In what may be the final evidence of Joe Simpson’s un-fitness for fatherhood, however, the article also notes that Jessica Simpson is weighing whether or not to play the Melanie Griffith role in a remake of Working Girl. Jesus Christ, Joe, did you raise these tarts with any sense of morality?!
Here’s hoping someone ultimately writes a tell-all book spilling the beans about this family’s dark secrets. Something tells me there are cemetaries upon cemetaries stacked up in Daddy Simpson’s closet.
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