Is “Smashed” a Tale of Parents Behaving Badly?
I bought Smashed by Koren Zailckas earlier this year, when it was shaping up to be the Next Big Thing in the personal memoir book market. I never finished it. I got about 10 pages into it and tossed it aside. The writing had a certain beauty, but also came off as pompous and overwrought. Now, after reading some of the comments on Amazon.com, I wish I’d stuck it out, at least to grok the parental angle. One dissatisfied reader says the book is a classic case of Parents Behaving Badly:
The book bothered me mostly because the parents seemed so unaware and unworried, beginning when their daughter came home hungover at 14, later had to have her stomach pumped and even later triggered a roommate phone call voicing concern over their daughter’s drinking. I wonder how parents could ship this child off to college with a relatively unlimited bar budget. Perhaps Zailckas, who wrote the book at age 23, is not yet in a place to have enough perspective on her life and her upbringing.
The review by BlogCritics seems to confirm that Zailckas’ parents were enablers:
Relive the ’80s and ’90s as Zailckas bluffs her talented, loner way through grade school and high school, her parents concerned but also enabling (to be precise, her mother is shaming, her father indulgent).
In her acknowledgments, she thanks them for sticking with her. But in the book, they treat her abuse by socializing it: When she and a friend get hammered - and discovered - her parents don’t give her the expected lecture; rather, they order her a beer.
Yikes. Sounds like classic PBB material, no?
Tags: Alcohol, alcoholic, book, drunk, koren+zailckas, memoir, parents, smashedRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Alcohol
2 opinions for Is “Smashed” a Tale of Parents Behaving Badly?
Nicole
Sep 16, 2005 at 1:20 pm
Her parents allowed her to go to Syracuse. Enabling, indeed.
Ann Adams
Sep 16, 2005 at 3:05 pm
From one of the Amazon.com reviews:
“She makes it clear that she is not an alcoholic, rather an alcohol abuser, now sober. It seems a rather fine point to put on it, considering the upheaval that she caused in her life.”
For some reason, the experts are making the distinction and she seized on the language. It sounds “nicer”. So does problem drinker. I can tell you it doesn’t make a bit of difference; the end result is the same. It’s all semantics, rationalization, and denial.
If I sound like Carrie Nation, believe me I’m not. I have no problem with alcohol as long as I’m not the one drinking it. It took until age 41 for me to realize what rationalization and denial do. They kill you. I’ve alluded briefly to my checkered past; almost destroying myself and others was part of it. I was fortunate to get a second chance; many don’t.
Parents behaving badly indeed! They didn’t notice the elephant in their living room? I don’t know their story but I wonder about their encouragement of her drinking.
I’m not going to preach AA or preach at all, honest. AA isn’t for everybody but it certainly saved my life.
I’ve never told my kids they must not drink. I did point out the pitfalls. Kids are going to do what they’re going to do once they become adults. I believe alcoholism can be genetic although I can’t prove it. My boys tried it, tried it, got scared quickly, and stopped.
I may read the book now that I’m raising another generation. Teenage binging has been around forever, but seems to be gaining ground. Young people are dying from alcohol poisoning, car wrecks, suicide. I hope Koren is able to maintain her sobriety and not become another unfortunate statistic.